Monthly Archives: June 2013

Sell me a house please mister!

I had to sell my house in cardiff because I couldn’t afford the mortgage – but in the circumstances, i couldn’t get a new, cheaper mortgage.  I would have about £10 left after selling the house.  I was trawling the valleys, looking for a house that i could buy cash for what i had.  I was also playing the guitar about 5 hours a day to practice for a slot at The Toucan Club.  So my reaction to the snooty attitudes of estate agents came out in music.  I have got a copy of the chords for this but they’re not on the computer – the tune is strongly reminiscent of music-hall and the verses are sung in alternate voices – working-class lady, snooty agent.  There you go, if you want the chords – let me know and i’ll scan them in.

Sell me a house please mister

I need a house to be mine

I’ve got two pennies and a ha’penny

And I’ve polished them up real fine

.

Here’s a nice and airy house

The roof’s not far away

You’ll find it in the garden,

It flew off the other day.

 

I’m afraid I can’t afford it sir,

The price is two and six

I’d buy it if I could sir

It wouldn’t be hard to fix..

.

Sell me a house please mister

I need a house to be mine

I’ve got two pennies and a ha’penny

And I’ve polished them up real fine

.

Here’s a house to suit you ma’am

Running water on demand

Its running down the kitchen walls

Convenient you’ll find

 

I’m afraid I can’t afford it sir,

The house is one and nine

I’d buy it if I could sir

And fix it up real fine.

.

Sell me a house please mister

I need a house to be mine

I’ve got two pennies and a ha’penny

And I’ve polished them up real fine

 

We might have something for you

There’s a coal-shed round the back

I’m afraid you can’t stand up in it

But it’ll do you for a shack.

.

Well if I can afford it sir

I’ll take it if I may

I’ll clean it up real nice sir

And move in right away….

 

Sell me a house please mister

I need a house to be mine

I’ve got two pennies and a ha’penny

And I’ve polished them up real fine

 

Elspeth Parris 1999

 

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